I can’t be normal under any circumstances. The only way I can explain my feelings at these moments of emotional intensity is like learning to rollerblade. You are moving along having fun, go to stop, and realize you don’t know how. Fear and fun in one moment. You know you are going to fall, you think of everything up to the point of impact. With me though I never can seem to get back up. I’m always falling and I can’t stop. It doesn’t get easier so I frantically grab onto anything not to hurt. I’m in survival mode. I’m trying to relax. My desire to take life as anyone would is a common entertained thought of mine. Despite the urge, the urge to not fall and hurt again….. is stronger.
